Tuesday, June 1, 2010

Everything Can Change in a Heartbeat

June 1st, 2010

Four years ago today, June 1st, was when I found out that Gabriel had left us. I woke up that Thursday morning and headed off to my doctors' appointment. The physicians assistant searched for my baby's heartbeat and couldn't find it. She went to get the doctor. He couldn't find the heartbeat either so I was sent to have an ultrasound. I remember laying on the table, and with tears in her eyes, the ultrasound tech. asked if I wanted a moment to be alone. I've never felt so alone in my entire life. That moment changed my life forever!

Today, baby #2 is 10 weeks and 5 days. Something inside of me said that today was the day I should try out my fetal doppler. Hearing that little one's heartbeat makes me so happy! The sound brings peace, joy and excitement to my own heart. I love this baby already so so much, I can't wait to have our little one in my arms! Funny a simple sound can have such a profound impact.

I love my son and miss him every single day. This day, four years ago, was the most heartbreaking moment of my life. And today, four years later, I love my growing baby and wait in excitement for our little one every day. I can't wait to see what our future has in store for us!


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