tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-83131915429335217462024-02-20T01:55:48.675-08:00An Elephant Never Forgets~Our story of moving forward, knowing we will never forget~RebeccaDawnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14687060098539271143noreply@blogger.comBlogger68125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8313191542933521746.post-46765901145450760672012-04-14T18:57:00.002-07:002012-04-14T19:01:14.850-07:00I give up!<span style="font-weight:bold;"><span style="font-style:italic;">April 14th, 2012</span><br /><br />I have way too much going on in my head to write it all down at the moment...I'm confused, sad, angry, and just plain hurt. So right now, I'm giving up on this blog. If things start to improve, I will update. At the moment, I need to just stop and try to pick up the pieces. Prayers are appreciated!</span>RebeccaDawnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14687060098539271143noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8313191542933521746.post-38648032383869574852012-03-28T11:37:00.004-07:002012-03-28T11:47:51.232-07:00Hard<span style="font-weight:bold;"><span style="font-style:italic;">March 28th, 2012</span><br /><br />Well, I haven't wrote a "real" blog post for awhile now and I have some feelings I need to get off my chest. My latest picture topic was a mess and speaking of messes, that's what I feel my head has been lately. Messy! We've been talking about having another baby for some time now and after my doctor gave us the okay, it's been seriously weighing on my mind. I'm ready (as crazy as that may be after our first two pregnancies), I am! Danny is finally on board and it's just not happening. It's only been a few months but every month we're not pregnant is heartbreaking for me. And then on top of that, it seems I hear of new people being pregnant every day, which is great but it makes it even harder on me. I just don't understand why this isn't easier for us...the whooooole baby process. It seems like so many people get pregnant the first time they try and then they go on to have a simple, normal pregnancy and birth. Why can't we have that, just once? Don't we deserve "simplicity" once in awhile? Is there something wrong with us, is there a reason everything has to be so damn hard, is it a sign that we are just supposed to give up on this dream? Blech...</span>RebeccaDawnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14687060098539271143noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8313191542933521746.post-57943319267558953332012-03-25T17:12:00.002-07:002012-03-25T17:20:04.900-07:00Week nine: A Mess<span style="font-weight:bold;"><br /><span style="font-style:italic;">March 25th, 2012</span><br /><br />So, you are probably thinking that I'm terrible at this weekly business...and you are completely right about that. However, it doesn't bother me even slightly ;)<br /><br />We recently went on vacation for almost a week and it was amazing! So great to get away from all of the chaos. It wasn't a super relaxing get-a-way however. We went skiing in the mountains and I was exhausted every evening and was in bed early...seems about right on track with my every day life back home. Asher was a stud on the trip, he rode great in the car and it's a 12 hour trip one way! He's been a bit of a handful since being back home but he's a boy so I shouldn't expect any less right? We make messes daily...usually big ones but I haven't captured any of them on camera lately. So, with this week's challenge (and I use "week" loosely here haha), I opted to take a picture of a whole different type of mess that has showed its' lovely head -no pun intended- Asher's blondie curls! They are exceptionally crazy right after bath time. So, here ya go...our latest "mess" ;)<br /></span><br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh5RDIIpGdkKRIO4_3TstsjF7wgwmdLKXVhTiSa44KXJ4gez79GoGhJcWOCuaUgf2Mt8AQ_0ob0tEz70QwobdrETMzxooIZ3bbZQeVD7BgTVOt0pU00hHoKdoMXlCHHHcElllpNSmIIur8/s1600/Week9.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 213px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh5RDIIpGdkKRIO4_3TstsjF7wgwmdLKXVhTiSa44KXJ4gez79GoGhJcWOCuaUgf2Mt8AQ_0ob0tEz70QwobdrETMzxooIZ3bbZQeVD7BgTVOt0pU00hHoKdoMXlCHHHcElllpNSmIIur8/s320/Week9.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5723993655389675298" /></a>RebeccaDawnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14687060098539271143noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8313191542933521746.post-32827161043490955452012-03-09T10:10:00.002-08:002012-03-09T10:14:06.019-08:00Week eight: Black and White<span style="font-weight:bold;"><br /><span style="font-style:italic;">March 9th, 2012</span><br /><br />I know I know...slacking again. I don't have much time to post much but just wanted to pop in quick and post my week eight picture. It's a picture I took of my pup, Lucy, while she was sleeping and I edited to black and white. I really wanted to take a picture of something that was actually black and white naturally but it just didn't happen this week. Oh well ;)</span><br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEixX238e8vSDz6fSqiU_TTTzMlPJy5G9fSbqJZAabw-oDAIRyAGBhJAFKS_6NaxLqLOX7xAvgFSgG3M-09kVyB58OuILDJivka29rMW3Q97ED3yQM6JG7QXX6zduvEaQVJkjHtBOWdn15w/s1600/week8.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 213px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEixX238e8vSDz6fSqiU_TTTzMlPJy5G9fSbqJZAabw-oDAIRyAGBhJAFKS_6NaxLqLOX7xAvgFSgG3M-09kVyB58OuILDJivka29rMW3Q97ED3yQM6JG7QXX6zduvEaQVJkjHtBOWdn15w/s320/week8.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5717962180777872498" /></a>RebeccaDawnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14687060098539271143noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8313191542933521746.post-66897186594974581092012-02-27T10:36:00.002-08:002012-02-27T10:41:26.578-08:00Week seven: What You Wore Today<span style="font-weight:bold;"><br /><span style="font-style:italic;">February 27th, 2012</span><br /><br />I'm not going to lie...I skipped a week because I completely forgot about this challenge! We've been busy working on income taxes and farming paperwork and my brain just hasn't been on a normal schedule for the past couple of weeks. <br /><br />In exciting news, since I last wrote...I became an auntie again! My beautiful little niece, Nora Claire, was born on the 18th and she is simply perfect. I didn't get to hold her right away because Asher and I had colds but it was worth the wait. She is tiny and adorable and I couldn't be happier to welcome her into the world and our family. YAY for babies!<br /><br />Sorry to disappoint, but my picture this week isn't of lovely little Nora. Instead, the challenge was what you wore today. Today, I just happen to be dressed warm because it is very cold out today. I'm wearing my snuggling john deere sweatshirt paired with these lovely JD socks my hubby bought for me at Christmas ;)<br /><br />Week Seven: What You Wore Today</span><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhSnxDC2pbgFGiv_XihmJxHfdCXA8WKOO0XStuiUmBZxEwZKmiAzovvJxGaYvi4FokZFVF4FevW1w_5X8e2l5kLpnlpSbYlROeJFNeSh08bmr9-W6r95DflcwgcgLmBCzIY9KZUzgslIbE/s1600/Week+7.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 213px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhSnxDC2pbgFGiv_XihmJxHfdCXA8WKOO0XStuiUmBZxEwZKmiAzovvJxGaYvi4FokZFVF4FevW1w_5X8e2l5kLpnlpSbYlROeJFNeSh08bmr9-W6r95DflcwgcgLmBCzIY9KZUzgslIbE/s320/Week+7.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5713887340445514274" /></a>RebeccaDawnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14687060098539271143noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8313191542933521746.post-13924713460336534782012-02-15T17:27:00.000-08:002012-02-15T17:34:28.050-08:00Week six: From a High Angle<span style="font-weight:bold;"><br /><span style="font-style:italic;">February 15th, 2012</span><br /><br />Asher is 15 months today...I don't know where the last 3 months have gone! I feel like we JUST celebrated his first birthday. Ugh, it's crazy how fast time flies by when you're having fun. He's become quite the monkey, loves climbing on the couch to look out the window! He also babbles constantly, although we don't have the slightest idea what is coming out of his mouth haha.<br /><br />Anyway, I'm a couple of days late on my photo challenge so I figured I would kill two birds with one stone. Here is a picture of Asher I took today, 15 months old, from a high-ish angle ;)</span><br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhib_N8lRdV_bJZu-11Naw3SgRgUA3lsdsx83x5_wCVx6EcPLRMfrNkEegYPSYPbMj4TRMgB2-VG61J0P8YZyUJ56F014c7o9LWUissCcVlSuQeiBFTEsM0Ib_JEApEkWBPW274x62kzbY/s1600/Week6.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 213px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhib_N8lRdV_bJZu-11Naw3SgRgUA3lsdsx83x5_wCVx6EcPLRMfrNkEegYPSYPbMj4TRMgB2-VG61J0P8YZyUJ56F014c7o9LWUissCcVlSuQeiBFTEsM0Ib_JEApEkWBPW274x62kzbY/s320/Week6.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5709540773372822802" /></a>RebeccaDawnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14687060098539271143noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8313191542933521746.post-49420835061347783222012-02-06T16:19:00.000-08:002012-02-06T20:16:24.091-08:00Week five: From a Low Angle<span style="font-weight:bold;"><br /><span style="font-style:italic;">February 6th, 2012</span><br /><br />Well, I kinda cheated this week for the photo challenge. I took a bunch of pictures of the lovely frost we've had but I didn't take one from a high angle (which was this week's challenge.) I did however, take a few from a low angle which is for next week so I figured I would just swap 'em. Hope no one minds because I sure don't ;)</span><br /><br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhT6cc6A5Lrnbf5-j54c_XToBG6CTxS0-n01nbqb1VObDchQZyKdsIUnxFOZr0IR-5S3HAh3gyl3Ys_sHZILZt3aJTXGtIlQN_FaWFsLZjHdJaet_9lA6ZdO1ihlTY41Uv39-DHOKwk5h8/s1600/Week5.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 213px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhT6cc6A5Lrnbf5-j54c_XToBG6CTxS0-n01nbqb1VObDchQZyKdsIUnxFOZr0IR-5S3HAh3gyl3Ys_sHZILZt3aJTXGtIlQN_FaWFsLZjHdJaet_9lA6ZdO1ihlTY41Uv39-DHOKwk5h8/s320/Week5.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5706242744447638994" /></a>RebeccaDawnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14687060098539271143noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8313191542933521746.post-28781865040736834042012-01-29T09:13:00.000-08:002012-01-29T09:16:51.297-08:00Week four: Dinner<span style="font-weight:bold;"><span style="font-style:italic;">January 29th, 2012</span><br /><br />My husband loves ribs, so much so that he will refuse to go back to any restaurant that doesn't meet his "ribs expectations." It's annoying really but what do you do. So, this past week, I decided to attempt making some. Call me crazy, I thought I may have to find a new place to live if they didn't turn out. Thankfully, they turned out great and were a big hit...I will definitely be making them again!<br /><br />Week four in the photography challenge was Dinner so here is a picture of my lovely, yummy bbq ribs! (Danny thought I was crazy for taking pictures of a meal I was cooking haha.)</span><br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi8jvdjaDaQVrbBPi3NYrR5o6Qsorw-N1Vba6u38sd_wVFTsJWpymKbG4WzuxgGHIHhzIqqf26WV9R01zHryWQIizmZyVtkvNfuhRFp3bepfMEgGxqjIJJ_3f9i2-Ney3zchGTnsGsbcQI/s1600/Week4.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 213px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi8jvdjaDaQVrbBPi3NYrR5o6Qsorw-N1Vba6u38sd_wVFTsJWpymKbG4WzuxgGHIHhzIqqf26WV9R01zHryWQIizmZyVtkvNfuhRFp3bepfMEgGxqjIJJ_3f9i2-Ney3zchGTnsGsbcQI/s320/Week4.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5703103983465378930" /></a>RebeccaDawnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14687060098539271143noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8313191542933521746.post-87653779433931663522012-01-23T06:16:00.000-08:002012-01-23T06:21:31.623-08:00Week three: Bold Colors<span style="font-weight:bold;"><br /><span style="font-style:italic;">January 23rd, 2012</span><br /><br />I've been busy redoing Asher's playroom, which has been both fun and frustrating. Rather than the dull, boring, yellowish-tan color it used to be, it is now a pretty white with one bright red accent wall. We put together a cubby with red, ocean blue, and lime green fabric storage cubes which looks really nice. And, just the other day, I bought an awesome lime green clock. It is so much fun, I love it...it makes me happy. <br /><br />So, week three of the photo challenge was Bold Colors so here is a picture of my happy clock!</span><br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh21uWSatfrOZSb_-Fnoj5loz7LzOVvo7d88hauJTSPG05Hoa7CIzYHhOHdBFMzecLEW9dlzQRZnMw5i_YtaatdaCJSLTIAcmE_2YDDf_XEZWpf2NRP4bn6jsww2XZphT2Bi1s7mV4NZtY/s1600/Week3.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 212px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh21uWSatfrOZSb_-Fnoj5loz7LzOVvo7d88hauJTSPG05Hoa7CIzYHhOHdBFMzecLEW9dlzQRZnMw5i_YtaatdaCJSLTIAcmE_2YDDf_XEZWpf2NRP4bn6jsww2XZphT2Bi1s7mV4NZtY/s320/Week3.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5700832396829759810" /></a>RebeccaDawnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14687060098539271143noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8313191542933521746.post-42575388878377811672012-01-16T10:36:00.001-08:002012-01-16T10:49:07.907-08:00Week two: What Makes You Smile<span style="font-weight:bold;"><span style="font-style:italic;">January 16th, 2012</span><br /><br />For week two, the picture title was What Makes You Smile! Don't even kid youself that you didn't know I would post a picture of Asher ;) Here's a picture I took this week of his goofy new face he likes to make. You're smiling too, aren't you? <br /><br />So, here is my second weeks' photo: What Makes You Smile</span><br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEis5PHeFL7RzxhKlvt8R9mKOnsi8ZY1M4wTLFgitSrYhyphenhyphensX13Z3Y0jygDST1kJDVm-Srj21yBGWR-tOoMsIElaAFnV2hEhopKFazcE4YMHOcXV_4O9oUPIart0HJ6q7kcSNdUKqNtbT2nA/s1600/Week+2.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 206px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEis5PHeFL7RzxhKlvt8R9mKOnsi8ZY1M4wTLFgitSrYhyphenhyphensX13Z3Y0jygDST1kJDVm-Srj21yBGWR-tOoMsIElaAFnV2hEhopKFazcE4YMHOcXV_4O9oUPIart0HJ6q7kcSNdUKqNtbT2nA/s320/Week+2.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5698303561182069506" /></a>RebeccaDawnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14687060098539271143noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8313191542933521746.post-89810564100946534862012-01-09T10:32:00.000-08:002012-01-09T10:54:43.786-08:00Week one: Self Portrait<span style="font-weight:bold;"><span style="font-style:italic;">January, 9th 2011</span><br /><br />So, I decided to do another photo challenge this year. I tried once before with a more daunting challenge a couple of years ago, a photo a day. That only lasted a month or two. This is a photo a week for 20 weeks. We will see how this one goes. <br /><br />Anyway, first week's photo is a Self Portrait:</span><br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhwB9RC5N6VzOEKn4Yhj2U_AHS0OjwtD3t7vQAQEEEI9bmpwgrIaKPwOyS7j-H5C2-eFF1oswM2tcejvU2-8qS4qy6xHOdJ2sEncBaHHlWvRrdrgaqALO23Sn74IxFpxe_k_1-5fAHrZ-A/s1600/Week1.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 213px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhwB9RC5N6VzOEKn4Yhj2U_AHS0OjwtD3t7vQAQEEEI9bmpwgrIaKPwOyS7j-H5C2-eFF1oswM2tcejvU2-8qS4qy6xHOdJ2sEncBaHHlWvRrdrgaqALO23Sn74IxFpxe_k_1-5fAHrZ-A/s320/Week1.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5695702443257144754" /></a>RebeccaDawnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14687060098539271143noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8313191542933521746.post-12562936797800847532012-01-02T14:59:00.001-08:002012-01-02T15:00:48.686-08:00Age 1Project I'm planning on doing every year....hopefully I remember! Super cute way of documenting what your little one was interested in at every age :)<br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjX-KRRPwYmENVAouDIkHuud00f4zbiSm8juanA3Yy32ILLOEdzVO3uYq08EDxVQ4nW_jAEbjh2rEy49AfapKDRvSqWH9QLoCzHwVnllPB3ctlaONM9X2QIeTaM2oUhSqhMHbXUQkZqvPo/s1600/Age+1+loves.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 213px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjX-KRRPwYmENVAouDIkHuud00f4zbiSm8juanA3Yy32ILLOEdzVO3uYq08EDxVQ4nW_jAEbjh2rEy49AfapKDRvSqWH9QLoCzHwVnllPB3ctlaONM9X2QIeTaM2oUhSqhMHbXUQkZqvPo/s320/Age+1+loves.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5693173231111409410" /></a>RebeccaDawnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14687060098539271143noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8313191542933521746.post-39577799940960114142012-01-01T14:24:00.000-08:002012-01-01T14:33:12.957-08:00Hello 2012!<span style="font-weight:bold;"><span style="font-style:italic;">January 1st, 2012</span><br /><br />It's another new year and I'm looking forward to it! 2011 was a great year filled with many amazing things but there were sad, disappointing, and painful moments too. I think most years are that way. But looking ahead, there are so many fun things happening this year. The most exciting, I am going to be auntie TWICE this year! I am so excited to have new babies in the family to snuggle, now that my baby has become a toddler and doesn't have much time for cuddling anymore. <br /><br />Not sure what 2012 has in store for our little family. Will there be another baby for us too? Maybe, maybe not. I've given that concern to God and I know He will lead us to the right path. <br /><br />I'm excited to watch my little man grow and learn in 2012. He's already amazed me so much, I can only imagine what he will be doing by the end of this year! <br /><br />We have weddings, milestone birthdays, births and lots of other things to celebrate this year. So, so long 2011...and welcome 2012! Happy New Year everyone :)</span>RebeccaDawnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14687060098539271143noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8313191542933521746.post-14629007403960290052011-12-12T18:55:00.001-08:002011-12-12T19:12:59.820-08:00Still uncertain...but the view sure is better!<span style="font-weight:bold;"><span style="font-style:italic;">December 12th, 2011</span><br /><br />Sorry I didn't update here sooner after our appointment. I'll try my best to explain how the appointment went. After joking about me wanting to give him gray hair, our OB discussed everything in depth with us. <br /><br />First, he confirmed that I did have Vasa Previa with my last pregnancy. HOLY CRAP what a blessing it was that he diagnosed it before it was too late. The past week, I've been reading more about the condition and it chills me to know that it has an almost 100% mortality rate because it usually goes undetected until it's too late. Asher is truly a miracle, no doubt about that! Thankfully, the likelihood of Vasa Previa repeating in another pregnancy is almost unheard of. <br /><br />We then talked a lot about if we should or should not try again. He stated that I would obviously be high-risk and be monitored in the same way I was with my pregnancy with Asher but that there is no reason medically to tell us not to. He said that the things that have happened during our past pregnancies are unlikely to happen again. That's not saying something bad won't happen...every pregnancy poses risks. But he said that he wouldn't be surprised at all if our next pregnancy went off without a hitch...no bumps at all! That is encouraging and just what I needed to hear in my process of moving forward. All women take a risk when getting pregnant...and for us, it's no different.<br /><br />So, we got our doctors' blessings, so to speak, and it is in our hands. It is our decision. Obviously, it will be worrisome and stressful just like it was last time, even before any complications arose. We have to decide if we want to go through that...do the benefits outweigh the worries and risks? Do I want to chance being on bedrest, hospitalization, premature birth and NICU time....does having another bundle of joy and a sibling for Asher make all of that worthwhile? It's hard choice, not one we will take lightly. I just know that whatever decision we make, we have to put it in God's control and know that He will take care of us! <br /><br />So I guess...to be continued</span>RebeccaDawnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14687060098539271143noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8313191542933521746.post-28876626422366673552011-12-04T18:48:00.000-08:002011-12-04T19:09:46.801-08:00Uncertain<span style="font-weight:bold;"><span style="font-style:italic;">December 4th, 2011</span><br /><br />Tomorrow is a big day. It could be a great, big day or it could be a disappointing, big day. I'm nervous, excited, and definitely apprehensive. Tomorrow could set the path to our future; yes, it's THAT big! We are dropping off our little munchkin at grandma's in the morning and heading to Fargo for an appointment with my OB to discuss what happened during my pregnancy with Asher and what the outlook might be for any future pregnancies. Obviously, no matter what the case, I will always be in the "high risk" category. But I'm worried my doctor will voice some strong concerns which will just confirm my already extreme caution with preceding in having any more children. I'm hoping, however, that he will ease those fears and walk us through a plan that may give us a better outcome for my pregnancies. I'm hoping he gives us options and advice on how to proceed rather than halt my dreams for a biological sibling for Asher. Either way, the appointment is a big one. Please send prayers our way. I know God is in control and He will see us through this!<br /><br />On a completely different note, I need to have a mommy brag for a moment! Asher is just so smart, he amazes me! Today we were playing with his "first words" flash cards he got as a birthday gift. I put the baby, puppy, kitty, tractor, truck, car and ball cards in front of him. Then, I went through each one asking him "Where is the _____?" and he picked each one out, all on his own, and got them all right on his first try! I wasn't surprised because I know he's smart, but I was so proud! That's my boy...momma loves you my little smartie pants!</span>RebeccaDawnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14687060098539271143noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8313191542933521746.post-24802024790619233482011-11-15T18:50:00.001-08:002011-11-15T19:13:53.427-08:00One-derful!<span style="font-weight:bold;"><span style="font-style:italic;">November 15th, 2011</span><br /><br />Asher is 1 year old today! It hardly seems possible that he has already had his first birthday. You think time flies before you have kids, it really goes once you have a little one! What an amazing year it has been. I can't put into words how much joy and love Asher has brought into my life. He is truly the most precious little thing I have ever laid eyes on. I can't imagine life without him! <br /><br />One year ago today, I heard the most beautiful sound a person will ever hear....the sound of a newborn crying after his birth! I've been dreaming of that sound for years and I finally got that moment. I got to see his gorgeous little face for only a minute before he was taken to the NICU but that site is still fresh in my mind. And holding him for the first time, one of my proudest moments! He was and is just perfect and I couldn't be a happier mommy!<br /><br />Thinking of all the obstacles he had to overcome the first few weeks in life, it's hard to believe what a little man he has become! All the of things he's learned and how much he's grown, it's a miracle and a blessing! <br /><br />This morning, one year later, Asher woke up right around his birth time! I looked at the clock when Danny went into his room to pick him up and bring him to our bed...it was 7:49 am (he was born at 7:48 am.) We all three laid in bed and Danny and I sang happy birthday to him. He looked at us like we were weirdos at first but then he smiled! We finally got up and looked outside....it had snowed!! Asher was pretty intrigued by the snowflakes softly falling outside. Daddy brought some snow in so that he could have his first feel of it. It went straight in his mouth haha! After his late morning nap, we went to town for his 1 year pictures at the Loft. We had so much fun and Asher loved showing off! I think his favorite part was eating MORE cake. I can't wait to see them. Waiting 3 weeks is going to be torture but I know it will be worth it. After pictures we headed home and Asher took a long nap...pictures must have wore him out. When he woke up, we just played the rest of the day and evening...just enjoying our little son! When I put him to bed tonight, I had to give him an extra little squeeze and kiss. He just means so much to me, I love him so very much! I thank God every day for allowing us to have such an amazing little person in our lives...how did we ever get so lucky!?!<br /><br />Happy 1st birthday Asher Mitchell...you are my shining star and I love you to pieces!!! </span><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiozYX4kKEyPTC_ulEg0DGW9t9XX5-wp6KUh-uM2b-kFnDo_Ug_6Uta_DEcDwathfP7i4i7jIh5nEIbbOFa3rwL2ejwqqBZYUSJdNxVS5rnkHPDwRKO_BHKVJPTYNVAAX2zPHMftit_eM8/s1600/birthday1-2.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 213px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiozYX4kKEyPTC_ulEg0DGW9t9XX5-wp6KUh-uM2b-kFnDo_Ug_6Uta_DEcDwathfP7i4i7jIh5nEIbbOFa3rwL2ejwqqBZYUSJdNxVS5rnkHPDwRKO_BHKVJPTYNVAAX2zPHMftit_eM8/s320/birthday1-2.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5675426521741511074" /></a><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgyfCFq0izq72ZgdA2_o4SjjUu1JCbVlhZ-75RRKYoC1iT-S600f4OduB6cAw_Jeks1cCMh95XBG69ZlIIb3_IAUWqi2juR8ovsJ4wRGxxnvs3n5A9078rgWfQdVR-8aIB8gRlk1Ayl2zA/s1600/birthday1.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 210px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgyfCFq0izq72ZgdA2_o4SjjUu1JCbVlhZ-75RRKYoC1iT-S600f4OduB6cAw_Jeks1cCMh95XBG69ZlIIb3_IAUWqi2juR8ovsJ4wRGxxnvs3n5A9078rgWfQdVR-8aIB8gRlk1Ayl2zA/s320/birthday1.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5675426519469077138" /></a>RebeccaDawnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14687060098539271143noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8313191542933521746.post-19338899172605214002011-11-08T07:01:00.001-08:002011-11-08T11:51:39.249-08:00Fall fun!<span style="font-weight:bold;"><span style="font-style:italic;">November 8th, 2011</span><br /><br />My oh my have I been slacking in the blogging world....guess I've just been busy! It's true, we've been busy having fun this fall. Up until a few days ago, the weather has been fantastic so we've been trying to take advantage of being outside because soon, that awful white stuff is going to take over and being outside isn't going to be much fun anymore. <br /><br />Asher started walking at then end of September and he hasn't slowed since. At first, it was just a few wobbly steps and now, he's practically running! It's hard to believe that my little baby boy is growing up so fast. It is so fun to watch him grow and learn. He can point to tractors, trucks, puppies, kitties, chickens and the sun in books now. How can such a small little person be so smart? It's amazing!<br /><br />A couple of weekends ago we celebrated my niece, Gianna's, 6th birthday. Asher had so much fun playing with all of the kids. It is so fun being close to home now to be able to watch my nieces and nephews grow up and Asher loves being around them! Then, it was his first Halloween. Asher was a little monster...cute as can be! I was worried he would fight being in his costume but he didn't put up a stink at all. I think he thought it was fun. Of course he got some halloween treats (most of which will be eaten by mommy and daddy!)He loved grandma's sugar cookies though...I think this boy may have a sweet tooth already. <br /><br />In one week, Asher will turn one year old! It hardly seems possible that my teeny, tiny little newborn is already a 1 year old toddler. Where did the time go? Exactly one year ago today, I went in for an ultrasound and was admitted to the hospital immediately due to some complications. I was so worried about my little boy and just prayed that he would be okay. I was hooked up to a monitor and got to listen to that strong little heartbeat 24 hours a day. I got quite used to falling asleep to that beautiful sound. I was there for a week before Asher made his appearance. We were hoping he would stay put for a few more weeks but he had other plans. I can't believe it's already been a year ago. The past year has been amazing, the best I've had! Asher has brought such joy to our lives and I cannot explain how blessed I feel to have him here! <br /><br />On Sunday, November 13th, we will have family here at the farm to celebrate Asher's 1st birthday. I am soooo excited to get to celebrate such an amazing day! After years of feeling sadness on Gabriel's birthday, it will be a nice change to have a birthday that is filled with joy! I can't wait :D</span><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhxfu7xOXldHMWoeMwqCeEWObXeKKu8QgFLAL_RRxWn5y6AMehg7pm6TVxI-vo2GGEUWFR7KWDFyr6olDPxUkEtT4NVxqR3tA7l9DA0akvelQhD7EOBeNviPW4gCfMixx9LyhXs8ho6kWU/s1600/Halloween2011.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 213px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhxfu7xOXldHMWoeMwqCeEWObXeKKu8QgFLAL_RRxWn5y6AMehg7pm6TVxI-vo2GGEUWFR7KWDFyr6olDPxUkEtT4NVxqR3tA7l9DA0akvelQhD7EOBeNviPW4gCfMixx9LyhXs8ho6kWU/s320/Halloween2011.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5672714728701754818" /></a>RebeccaDawnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14687060098539271143noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8313191542933521746.post-40031099433730085182011-09-23T11:52:00.000-07:002011-09-23T11:56:36.896-07:00Quick update post since it's been awhile....<span style="font-weight:bold;"><span style="font-style:italic;">September 23rd, 2011</span><br /><br />Asher is 10 months old! Less than 2 months now until his 1st birthday. It is unbelievable how fast time flies.<br /><br />He is working on teeth numbers 3, 4 and 5 right now. The top front two and his right bottom eye tooth are coming in and boy oh boy is he a crab apple!<br /><br />We have fun playing So Big, Peek-a-boo, and giving high fives :)<br /><br />And I don't think it will be long before Asher starts walking. He's climbs up on everything and shimmies his way around furniture. And just the past couple of days he's been letting go and trying to take steps. He usually only gets about one step away without falling...but he's trying! I don't think I'm ready for this haha.<br /><br />HAPPY 1st DAY OF FALL!!!</span>RebeccaDawnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14687060098539271143noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8313191542933521746.post-11098525489402706782011-08-27T19:29:00.000-07:002011-08-27T20:11:10.896-07:00Stress<span style="font-weight:bold;"><span style="font-style:italic;">August 27th, 2011</span>
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<br />Yesterday I had a stressful day. It wasn't anything overly hectic, just lots of little things that added up. Worst part of it all, my dishwasher is broken. UGH! Hand washing dishes is soooo not fun and not easy with a little rugrat demanding my attention. Anyway, this post isn't really about my mildly stressful day yesterday...it's about something bigger. Something that I think a day like yesterday made me realize.
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<br />The past 6 years, Danny and I have had more stress than any early to mid twenties person should have. It's been constant, starting with the unthinkable death of a great friend/brother in October of 2005. Then came preparing for an unexpected baby and then losing him in June 2006. After planning a funeral that no one should ever have to plan, we started planning a wedding and then made a move to Fargo for my hellish internship. I don't regret moving to Fargo because I met some wonderful people through my schooling and my job in Breckenridge, but Fargo itself stressed me out! And finally the complicated, worrisome pregnancy and scary birth of Asher tops the cake. And there were other things going on that I haven't even mentioned here, like normal everyday worries. The immense stress felt continual for years. I don't think I ever had a chance to really seriously consider it and take it all in.
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<br />Now that life is finally stable, steady and has slowed down a little bit on the crazy train.....I feel like all of that stress that has just been building up and pushing me along has come to a halt and is finally just resting on my shoulders. During the day when I'm with Asher, I don't notice it at all. He keeps me busy and entertained. But when he goes to bed and it's quiet, I just feel like curling up in bed and crying. I'm not sure why. I'm not unhappy, I love my life. I love my husband, my son, my family, our new home...everything. But when I'm alone, I feel it...I feel very lonely. I feel like no one understands where I've been and where I'm going. I feel distanced from some people that I care about and I'm not sure if I am the one who has distanced myself or if these people have distanced themselves from me after the last few years. I know I've changed. I'm definitely not the same person I was before I got pregnant with and lost Gabriel. And I've even changed more since having Asher. I think I've accepted that I will never get over Gabriel's death and that I will never be the same person I was before it happened. And now that I have Asher, he is my #1 priority. That's how it's supposed to be and that's okay. But can other people accept that? Or have they and I'm just blind to it? I can't reach out because I don't know how. I feel like no one understands me.
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<br />I just hope that the mountain of years of stress that has piled on top of me starts to lift and I can breathe again when I'm alone. It's a sad place to be and I hate being in that dark place. I want to find peace within myself. I need to climb out from under all of this. Help!</span>RebeccaDawnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14687060098539271143noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8313191542933521746.post-51879312945608557682011-08-24T18:46:00.000-07:002011-08-24T19:29:06.577-07:00Oh beautiful, crazy son of mine!<span style="font-weight:bold;"><span style="font-style:italic;">August 24th, 2011
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<br />I must start by saying that I feel so so very blessed to have Asher in my life. He brightens my day and I don't know what I would do without him. This is just a taste of a day in the life of Asher and mommy. Lets start with the morning. At 7:00 a.m. I wake up to this sweet little boy standing in his crib, waiting for me to come pick him up, his beautiful face smiling ear to ear when I finally enter his room. I change his diaper and feed him his morning bottle. Then, we plop down on the floor and watch some Mickey Mouse Clubhouse and I have my morning cup of coffee. Asher's favorite part is the Hot Dog dance for which he drops anything he's doing to stare intently at the screen. I'm sure it won't be long before he starts dancing right along. Then, we play with toys for awhile until he starts to get sleepy. I know when it's time for his morning nap just from the look in his eyes. I rock him and hum his favorite tune and before long, he's dozing off in my arms. I lay him down in his crib and go try to get a few things done while he's asleep (aka, eat breakfast, feed the cats, play with the dogs...ya know, the important things.)
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<br />About an hour later, I hear some rustling coming from the back room and sure enough, my little pumpkin is awake, playing with his blanket! I walk in and ask "what are you doing silly?" which is returned by a huge grin and squeal! We go to the kitchen and I strap him into his highchair. It's time for some food which usually turns into a huge mess. Today, Asher got his first taste of homemade pizza...he loved it! For dessert, some bananas. We are just learning how to use a sippy cup which he is doing remarkably well with actually. Now it's time to change another diaper and get dressed for the day. This has become quite the process since Asher has started to move. It usually goes something like this....lay him down and take off his dirty diaper. He rolls over and crawls away mid-wipe. I grab him and lay him back down, finish wiping him and get one side of the new diaper snapped...he rolls over and crawls away. I grab him again and finish the other side of the diaper in an awkward position because he won't lay back down. He squirms away while I'm reaching for his clothes. I go get him and fight to get his shirt on. I try to lay him back down to put on his shorts but he won't have any of that...so again, we put his shorts on in a very awkward fashion, but it works, he's dressed!
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<br />Ready for the day we go outside with Lucy and Pearl. Asher goes for a stroller ride around the yard. We go look at the garden and the apple trees. Then we pick a nice shady spot and take a seat. The dogs play with each other and Asher reaches for the wheels of the stoller. He will play with anything that has wheels. After he gets bored with that, he starts pulling grass and trying to eat it. I tell him NO several times and try to distract him with his toys. He stops, looks up at me, hand full of grass, smiles and tries to eat it anyway. This carries on for a good 20-30 mins. Yesterday, he got a piece of grass up his nose. He didn't know what to think. He rubbed his nose and sneezed (and then laughed because he always laughs after he sneezes.) Then we go to get the mail!
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<br />We go inside and I try to find something to eat for lunch. Of course, Asher can't be left out when someone is eating so he has a snack while I eat. Then, we play on the floor. By play I mean, he crawls all over, usually to the dogs' dishes and I follow him around, intercepting things that he shouldn't be playing with. After awhile, I see him getting sleepy again so I make a bottle and he takes his afternoon nap. When he wakes up we usually play for awhile, go outside or sometimes even go visit daddy out in the field or grandma at her house. If we're driving, he usually does his screaming thing...which isn't a cry-like scream but more of a "I just do this because I like to hear my own voice" type of deal. It sounds cute, but really, it's not after awhile! After supper, it's bathtime. Asher looooooooves his bath. He gets so excited when he sees me start the water to fill up the tub. His new favorite thing is to try and stand up in the tub, which is a little scary. Hard surface + slippery does not equal something nice. Last night, I was adding a little more warm water and he was trying to grab it as it was coming from the faucet. Both hands were go go going and he just could not figure out why he couldn't get ahold of it. It was adorable, I wish I would have had a video camera.
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<br />When we're all done, I wrap him up in a snuggly towel and he always smiles at himself when we walk past the mirror. You can almost imagine what it's like trying to get him dressed into his jammies after his bath...nearly impossible so he usually goes on with his evening naked for awhile. If I'm lucky, I will get a diaper on him. After playing tractors or building blocks (I build, he destroys), around 8:00 p.m. it's time to get ready for bed. I can tell because he starts getting fussy and clingy. He gets a fresh diaper, I somehow get his jammies on, and we grab his bottle and head for his room (yes, I still hold him and rock him to sleep...I cherish the snuggle time.) Most nights, he goes right to sleep after the bottle is all gone but sometimes he is restless and doesn't want to give in. He plays with my face, pulls my hair, giggles and smiles, and squirms to get free. I try so hard to keep a straight face but I just can't. He's just too damn cute and I usually giggle right along with him. Finally, his eyes get droopy and his head slowly starts to hang and rest on my shoulder. I kiss his little bald head and whisper I love you in his ear before putting him down and leaving the room. My little monkey is down for the night. I always check on him before heading to bed myself but usually I don't hear a peep from him again until 7:00 a.m. when the next beautiful, wonderful day starts! Of course, every day is a little different and Asher surprises me daily with the new things he learns and I cherish each and every moment. I wanted to write down what a day with him is like at this stage for my own reference because I know it's going to be over soon and he will just keep growing growing growing (which is awesome!) and I can't wait to experience each age! The moral of the story is..........Asher rocks! :)</span>RebeccaDawnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14687060098539271143noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8313191542933521746.post-44047577434877143342011-08-19T19:47:00.001-07:002011-08-19T20:37:37.368-07:00Adding to the family...an internal struggle with myself<span style="font-weight:bold;">
<br /><span style="font-style:italic;">August 19th, 2011</span>
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<br />Family of five. That's what I always pictured having growing up, just like my family. I thought it was perfect and I never in my wildest dreams expected my life to go as it has. It never crossed my mind that my first born child would pass away and leave me with empty arms. There were no thoughts about pregnancy complications, premature births, and Neo-natal intensive care units. I thought I would get married, have three kids, and that was that. It's funny how naive you are when you are young and have no life experience. Even though it hurts, you expect that you will someday bury your grandparents and eventually, your own parents but you never imagine burying your child. Our son Gabriel lies in the ground, north of a tiny town called Harlow, on a hill where it's cold and windy most of the time. There are no words to describe the anguish I feel thinking about it. The thought of it still takes my breath away. Now, we have our second son, Asher! Our beautiful little miracle means more to me than I can ever express but he didn't come easily either. After a stressful pregnancy tormented by complications, he was born nearly 6 weeks early and spent his first 27 days in the hospital, withstanding numerous painful tests and hooked up to IVs and monitors. It killed me to see him go through those things, it brings tears to my eyes when I think of it.
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<br />So now, I have come to a very difficult fork in the road. There are two main paths and they both have potential hazardous and heart-wrenching obstacles. This is my internal struggle. If we decide to take the path of stopping now, after two very difficult pregnancies, I end up short of my dream and Asher grows up as an only child. Of course there are other options, such as adoption, but I just cannot imagine never being pregnant again. It breaks my heart thinking of never again having that excitement of seeing a positive pregnancy test, never again hearing the baby's heartbeat for the first time, never again feeling the baby move and watch my belly grow and grow! I don't know if I can accept that. Being pregnant (both times) were some of the happiest times of my life! The anticipation and love I felt, it's indescribable! But this path leads to a safe place. A place where I know everything is going to be okay. I have my husband and I have my perfect little boy...they are my everything, so why doesn't it feel like we are complete?
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<br />But there are so many "what ifs" if we decide venture on to have another baby. I have Asher to think about now. What if I end up on bedrest for months? What if the baby ends up in the hospital for months? Is that fair to Asher...is it fair to put him through that just because I want another baby? And what about the baby. What if the baby is born early or has complications? Is that fair to him/her? I'm scared to try again. I'm scared to ruin the perfect little life we have now. But I'm scared that I will regret not trying again for the rest of my life. How do you make a decision like this...how do you find the right answer? Is there even a right answer? I don't know, I struggle with this continually. I guess all I can do is leave it in God's hands and hope that He shines His light down the right path for our family. Right now, I know I need to focus on my amazing little son. He astounds me daily and I love him more than life. I am so grateful to have such a profound little human with me every day to brighten up my world. I love Asher and I hope that no matter what choice is made, he will always love us too and will never feel upset, abandoned, or unloved.
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<br />Okay okay, enough of my whine-fest....speaking of adding to our family, we got a new puppy. We wanted Asher to have a "best friend" to grow up with so we got a little Golden Retriever puppy last Sunday. She is 7 weeks old (almost 8) and is the cutest little thing. We had a hard time naming her so we let Asher pick a name from our ideas out of a hat and he picked Pearl! It fits perfectly. Hopefully they will be best buds. I know I always loved having animals on the farm. A loving pet can add so much to a family....we already know that from our sweet little Lucy!</span>
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<br />Asher and Pearl
<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhVz0Z603Y9OJWoJ4l1Pynl6a-Z_uHcRDWq_wBqRTBuw4QfFdRezYqR2n9QD8URVYlTWrcbRwRs3fsp1jb5kT_k2fhS6yAjtZSXP-STCIhFMLeWGPxmxLArOR-e-y9Idcr5CoACjo-BYZU/s1600/DSC_0336-1.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 213px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhVz0Z603Y9OJWoJ4l1Pynl6a-Z_uHcRDWq_wBqRTBuw4QfFdRezYqR2n9QD8URVYlTWrcbRwRs3fsp1jb5kT_k2fhS6yAjtZSXP-STCIhFMLeWGPxmxLArOR-e-y9Idcr5CoACjo-BYZU/s320/DSC_0336-1.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5642776834487524882" /></a>RebeccaDawnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14687060098539271143noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8313191542933521746.post-41703867726977266092011-07-21T10:59:00.000-07:002011-07-21T11:16:35.061-07:00Pictures as promised! :)<span style="font-style:italic;"><span style="font-weight:bold;">July 21st, 2011</span></span><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhFSmZoDj200vfd3SrlqQGHwGTAyM9ijtcf4b8j4ik_4W9fTPbykz-FlTKufDVKTP84QYKwIXUcl6NtuEYZiA2azK4WCaaTXq73Qjm7poq7qzaWU18_J-W_tWT-0QjDBgLO3lyZR1sqD2Y/s1600/DSC_4565.JPG"><img style="display:block; 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margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 213px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhISz8Q8XFg9aJP2H_pxF2fco2IPuqJXDVjLJcndU08MFVn07giGhGy7EaT1HXW0x8huEwU12-5pzBr4m192OK1gJ7SgQG-fx0W7xZmRlKsAYlDHAIUdmAjAd9taPieEhNxInRjtSu2J80/s320/DSC_4599.JPG" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5631868452038299698" /></a><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjoaxSdsQ_3Oi3Rz4WWf_lA2u8SE9IwKhc2f2hD6kiEHPXt0aTbp0w44pGFEoDL6KDXYeO8aBgCtKzwVtpvqT5tvIyRw-lWEST-XXNL_u0Tt9a-_qCV82lyauqCZFZp9oNX4DNkWqLCNR0/s1600/DSC_0066.JPG"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 213px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjoaxSdsQ_3Oi3Rz4WWf_lA2u8SE9IwKhc2f2hD6kiEHPXt0aTbp0w44pGFEoDL6KDXYeO8aBgCtKzwVtpvqT5tvIyRw-lWEST-XXNL_u0Tt9a-_qCV82lyauqCZFZp9oNX4DNkWqLCNR0/s320/DSC_0066.JPG" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5631868446482612530" /></a><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgitze7kylLB2cGXqmcxz93NamLG982-7A8pyga-hgP6BlW4Dd1X-5MLtyJttMyekPAEJoWbCaU7mgLdqR-1zQIaIIQYYP1YrGNNeLMI5KL5c8OWSkzOm0dpBnZKVBDDFKwJaowI8OfQh0/s1600/DSC_0051.JPG"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 213px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgitze7kylLB2cGXqmcxz93NamLG982-7A8pyga-hgP6BlW4Dd1X-5MLtyJttMyekPAEJoWbCaU7mgLdqR-1zQIaIIQYYP1YrGNNeLMI5KL5c8OWSkzOm0dpBnZKVBDDFKwJaowI8OfQh0/s320/DSC_0051.JPG" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5631868444029133874" /></a>RebeccaDawnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14687060098539271143noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8313191542933521746.post-31481408197735410302011-07-09T20:00:00.000-07:002011-07-09T20:19:49.614-07:00Big Updates!<span style="font-weight:bold;"><span style="font-style:italic;">July 9th, 2011</span><br /><br />Sorry I haven't posted in awhile. We've been a very very busy bunch this past month! So what is it that we've been up to? We finally got to move into our new home and we couldn't be happier! To have our own space is priceless and the room we have here...it's just amazing. We closed on June 10th and started moving in on June 11th. One of the very first things we did after moving in was get rid of the floral wallpaper that engulfed the entire dining room and kitchen. Then, we painted. I finally have my green kitchen that I've always wanted. When we got married 4 years ago we registered for "kitchen gifts" with a green kitchen in mind and now, we finally have it! So exciting. Now we just need a dining room table and chairs. The living room has been painted and halfway decorated. I'm still waiting for Asher's 6 month pictures to come in so I have more fun photos to hang on our lovely walls. <br /><br />One of the most exciting things for me though is finally getting to make a nursery for my baby! I've been dreaming of doing that for years....and now, it's happening. I am having so much fun with Asher's room. I hope he loves it as much as I do! I can't wait to watch him grow up here. We have so much room here for him to grow, run and play. Hopefully he enjoys and appreciates growing up in the country as much as Danny and I did. <br /><br />And speaking of him growing up....HE FINALLY GOT TWO TEETH! (applause) I feel like my poor little hunny has been teething for months and months and now his hard work has paid off. He looks so cute with his two little toothies...but it makes me a little sad knowing how fast he is growing. Don't get me wrong, I am so so happy that he is growing and thriving! He is doing so well. He is SO busy! I am exhausted every day by 8:00 pm. He go go goes every second he's awake. He's not crawling yet but he wants to be walking all the time (by walking I mean, holding your hands for help.) There is never a dull moment. I love it! <br /><br />Danny and I also celebrated our 4 year anniversary on June 23rd. We didn't really get to celebrate this year though. On our anniversary (which was a thursday I think), we planted a garden and then that weekend we were off to Fargo for a friends' wedding. It was all good fun but hopefully he and I can get a night out together to properly celebrate soon!! <br /><br />A sad update I unfortunately have is a close family friends' passing. Karen Anderson, an amazing, talented, caring, and Godly woman recently lost her courageous battle with cancer and went to be with Jesus. She leaves behind a husband, 5 wonderful children, and two adorable grand babies. At her funeral, her beautiful daughters attested to what an incredible mother and person she was. It was heartbreaking to see them mourning the loss of their beloved mom...but it was inspiring and I know that Karen would have been so proud of them! She will be missed by so many but I know she is in Heaven with her God which is where we all belong! ((HUGS)) to the family.<br /><br />Lastly, a mention to an exciting weekend coming up. Next weekend, July 16th and 17th, we have a big family reunion out at the farm. It's going to be so much fun to see all of my relatives and I can't wait. There is also a "party" going on in my hometown which we might make an appearance at. It will be fun to see friends and catch up. <br /><br />Well, I'm off to bed...it's way past my bedtime. I promise to come back and post a few pictures of the house and the teeth as soon as I get a chance. Goodnight! <br /><br />God is good!</span>RebeccaDawnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14687060098539271143noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8313191542933521746.post-88956472997533992042011-06-03T18:48:00.000-07:002011-06-03T19:26:50.695-07:00F I V E<span style="font-weight:bold;"><span style="font-style:italic;">June 3rd, 2011</span><br /><br />Five years ago today we said goodbye to our first born son before we even got to say hello. <br /><br />It was a Thursday when I found out. It was June 1st and I was heading for my prenatal appointment, thinking it would be just like any other prenatal appointment I had previously went to. There wasn't a thought in my mind that anything would or could be wrong. I would see the doctor, I would get to hear the baby's heartbeat and I would be on my merry way. I was oblivious. I took the idea that I was going to have a baby in July and raise it to adulthood for granted. I took my baby for granted, as most everyone does during pregnancy, it's human nature...<br /><br />When the doctor didn't find the baby's heartbeat, I was floored. He had such an easy time finding it at my previous appointments. What on earth is going on?! I was sent for an ultrasound which confirmed my worst fears! My baby had passed away. It took just one small moment to shatter my life. All of my dreams for the future, everything I was looking forward to for the rest of my days crumbled in front of me. I was left with nothing....nothing but a lifeless baby inside of my womb and a dark and empty heart! I cried. There was nothing I could do. I felt numb, I felt hopeless, I felt angry and sad and confused. And all I could do was cry....<br /><br />I was sent home that night with the plan to come in the next morning to deliver my first born, 7 weeks early, and not living. Thinking back on it, I still can't grasp the emotion of having to deliver a lifeless child. Knowing that once the baby came out, we wouldn't get to take it home to love and raise. I wasn't ready to go through labor and to deliver a baby. I hadn't prepared myself for it yet. This wasn't supposed to be happening for almost 2 months. I was stricken with such grief...I couldn't sleep. I prayed for this to be a nightmare, that I would wake up and everything would be okay. By the next morning I was already exhausted emotionally. <br /><br />We went to Grand Forks were I was given a room and met my doctor. I was still in denial, I didn't want to believe that my baby was gone. We had another ultrasound in GF done just for closure sake. We also met with a bereavement lady. Her name was Toni. I remember her well. She gave me books and brochures, poems and stories, and a teddy bear...all meant to help but at the time, it didn't. I was induced and went through labor just like anyone else would. I had strong contractions and a lot of back labor which was agonizing. But nothing was as painful as the realization that I wouldn't be giving birth to a living baby. By the time I was supposed to push, I was so physically and emotionally drained that most everything was a blur. I do remember it being painful but that as soon as the baby was out, my body relaxed. I remember the doctor telling us that we had a baby boy. My son. My beautiful little son. I knew in my heart all along that he was a boy...and I loved him. I held him close to me and cried, wishing that God would change his mind and my tiny son would cry out. I looked at his perfect face, his bitty little hands and feet, he was a perfect angel. I don't know how long I held him but I know I didn't want to ever let him go. I don't know how I ever did...I must have been too tired to hold him any longer. And then he was gone.<br /><br />They did an autopsy which proved that he was perfectly healthy. He didn't have any birth defects or congenital problems. There was no reason he should have died. I had a hard time accepting it. There are still times, five years later that I still struggle with it. They say that time heals pain and it is true, the acute pain rarely comes around (except for days like today). But there is always an ache in my heart. There hasn't been one day since he left us that I haven't thought about him. Not one.<br /><br />Gabriel Hermanson, my little peanut, my first born son; you will always have a huge place in my heart. I miss you every day. Because of you, I have learned to not take life for granted. You are the reason I can cherish every moment with Asher. Asher Mitchell is my rainbow baby, my something beautiful after the storm. I would not be the mother I am today if it weren't for you. You taught me life's greatest lessons, to live each day with no regrets and to live in the moment! You are beautiful and perfect. I wish with every ounce of my being that I could know you, that I could see your precious little face and hear your enchanting little laugh. But I am thankful that you are my son and I wouldn't change it for anything. I love you. Happy 5th birthday my angel!</span>RebeccaDawnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14687060098539271143noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8313191542933521746.post-1690006103527176432011-05-25T08:38:00.000-07:002011-05-28T11:50:27.079-07:00Guilty!<span style="font-weight:bold;"><span style="font-style:italic;">May 25th, 2011</span><br /><br />Yes, I'm guilty! I'm guilty of being a bit of a debbie downer lately which is unlike me because I usually try to be happy and optimistic in my life. I really dislike negative energy and it bugs me that I have been feeling so unhappy lately. I think it's a combination of things. Not having my own space is a BIG one! I am so anxious to get into our house...I love my parents but I just can't live with them much longer. I need some organization and structure in my life. Right now I don't feel like I have any. I've also been very worried about some things with Asher. Being stressed out over his health is wearing me down. I love him so much and I just want everything to be perfect for him! I think one of the most annoying things to me though is that I see so many people with such nasty attitudes, it's weighing heavily on my own spirit. I constantly see people complaining about such insignificant things and it upsets me! I have always tried to not let other people's pessimistic ways bring me down, but lately I've had a hard time avoiding it. I have sooooo much to be thankful for and I know that happiness is in there somewhere...I just need to dig it out and let it shine again!<br /><br />Here are some great things that I've had going on in my life. I got to actually CELEBRATE Mother's Day this year! My first Mother's Day with Asher was very special. The past few years have been very difficult but this year, I had a chance to rejoice and celebrate my mommy-hood! Another big thing that happened lately is that my little monkey turned 6 months old! Asher is such a blessing in my life. He means the world to me and to watch him grow and change every day is a miracle. He is an amazing little man with so much personality...he means everything to me and I cannot believe that a half a year has already passed! He is learning to sit on his own which is so much fun. He loves to be outside and watch the animals. He continues to giggle and smile constantly which makes my heart melt. He's really started to love his food and his messy faces make me smile! He is a beautiful, wonderful person and I'm excited for his future! I know I've said it a million times, but I just want him to be happy!<br /><br />One thing we've been struggling with is his right leg. He hadn't been using it much and didn't want to bear weight or straighten it. We took him in for bloodwork and an MRI and it seems that he had some fluid around his hip. The pediatrician and the orthopedic specialist both seem to think he will be okay but we are following up in a couple of weeks to see how things are improving. He does seem to be doing much better the past week and has been using his leg much more. YAY Asher! He is such a trooper and I am so proud of him!<br /><br />Our upcoming adventures include professional pictures on June 8th, a wedding in Fargo on June 25th, a family reunion and hometown celebration in July! Honestly, every day with my little guy is an experience and I'm loving every moment. Hopefully next time I post, we will be starting a new adventure in our OWN home!!!</span>RebeccaDawnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14687060098539271143noreply@blogger.com0