Guilty!

May 25th, 2011

Yes, I'm guilty! I'm guilty of being a bit of a debbie downer lately which is unlike me because I usually try to be happy and optimistic in my life. I really dislike negative energy and it bugs me that I have been feeling so unhappy lately. I think it's a combination of things. Not having my own space is a BIG one! I am so anxious to get into our house...I love my parents but I just can't live with them much longer. I need some organization and structure in my life. Right now I don't feel like I have any. I've also been very worried about some things with Asher. Being stressed out over his health is wearing me down. I love him so much and I just want everything to be perfect for him! I think one of the most annoying things to me though is that I see so many people with such nasty attitudes, it's weighing heavily on my own spirit. I constantly see people complaining about such insignificant things and it upsets me! I have always tried to not let other people's pessimistic ways bring me down, but lately I've had a hard time avoiding it. I have sooooo much to be thankful for and I know that happiness is in there somewhere...I just need to dig it out and let it shine again!

Here are some great things that I've had going on in my life. I got to actually CELEBRATE Mother's Day this year! My first Mother's Day with Asher was very special. The past few years have been very difficult but this year, I had a chance to rejoice and celebrate my mommy-hood! Another big thing that happened lately is that my little monkey turned 6 months old! Asher is such a blessing in my life. He means the world to me and to watch him grow and change every day is a miracle. He is an amazing little man with so much personality...he means everything to me and I cannot believe that a half a year has already passed! He is learning to sit on his own which is so much fun. He loves to be outside and watch the animals. He continues to giggle and smile constantly which makes my heart melt. He's really started to love his food and his messy faces make me smile! He is a beautiful, wonderful person and I'm excited for his future! I know I've said it a million times, but I just want him to be happy!

One thing we've been struggling with is his right leg. He hadn't been using it much and didn't want to bear weight or straighten it. We took him in for bloodwork and an MRI and it seems that he had some fluid around his hip. The pediatrician and the orthopedic specialist both seem to think he will be okay but we are following up in a couple of weeks to see how things are improving. He does seem to be doing much better the past week and has been using his leg much more. YAY Asher! He is such a trooper and I am so proud of him!

Our upcoming adventures include professional pictures on June 8th, a wedding in Fargo on June 25th, a family reunion and hometown celebration in July! Honestly, every day with my little guy is an experience and I'm loving every moment. Hopefully next time I post, we will be starting a new adventure in our OWN home!!!